On Mar 17, 2005, at 1:43 PM, Keaka Jackson wrote:

Hey all,

In order to stem the obscene number of phone calls I’ve received this week (ok 3), and to continue my tradition of sending out an incoherent mass email to everybody in my address book once a month, I’ve decided to whip out an update.

I went snowboarding last weekend and the mountain gave me a funny look, so I tried to kick its ass with my collar bone. It didn’t really work out very well. Now I have a broken clavicle and over a 140 Vicodin pills (seriously! I think Kaiser is trying to kill me), but I showed that mountain who’s boss!

I’m also proud to say that my doctor exclaimed “Wow! Wow! Wow!” when he saw my x-rays. Of course, he might just have been stalling for time while trying to remember where the clavicle is located. The nurse couldn’t figure out how to take my blood pressure (she gave up and never finished) and asked me “Which side is broken?” when I came in wearing a big sling on my right arm. Inspires confidence 🙂

Anyway, I’ll be wearing a fashionable sea-blue sling for 6-12 weeks, I’ll be emitting high-pitches squeals whenever I try to put on a shirt, I’ll be starting a bit of physical therapy on Monday, and I’ll be dealing Vicodin out of my apartment starting immediately.

If you would like to contribute to the “Keaka’s Snowboard Needs More Wax” fund, I’m accepting:

  • Smooches, massages, and sponge-baths from the ladies
  • Food
  • Beer (I hear it mixes well with Vicodin and livers)
  • Money

“No matter how much your friends dare you, don’t ever try an inverted backside fakie 360 tailgrab.”
— Keaka

2 Responses to “Leprechauns!”

  1. Jon Says:

    Hey there, just wondering where you got your fashionable sling?

  2. Keaka Says:

    I purchased my sexy sling from Kaiser Permanente. I turn to them for all of my injury-wear needs.

    Last month I wanted to alter my face a little bit, so I got into a surfing accident and had Kaiser sew up my chin with stitches. The ladies love a good scar, right ladies? … Umm, hello? Ladies? Darn, maybe I was wrong.

Leave a Reply